This may be a terrible thing for a pastor to admit, but I often feel like my prayers just don’t cut the mustard.
For example, I tend to pray when I am needy or worried or scared; in other words, when I want something from God. So I begin to pray in this way,
Please God, I need your help.
But then I catch myself mid-prayer.
I am sorry, God, to put you to the test. That was a bad prayer. Let me begin again. So I next begin to pray in this way,
Please God, make me a more godly person -- make me more Christlike. But then I catch myself mid-prayer again.
Sorry God, that was another false start. I am asking you to do the work.
I need to do the work.
I
need to make myself more Christlike. That was another bad prayer. Let me begin once again.
So I play it safe and pray
The Lord’s prayer, thinking that I can’t go wrong with The Lord’s Prayer. But it
feels
wrong. It feels like I prayed it as a cop out because my more personal prayers were such poor performances. Then I give up. I figure at this point the Lord who neither slumbers nor sleeps is slumbering and sleeping. Do you see why I often feel like my prayers just don’t cut the mustard?
But even if I spoke, in Paul’s words, with the tongues of angels, as if God needs my prayers in the first place! God who spoke the cosmos into being, who set the stars in space. What does he need with my prayers? The prophet Isaiah declared that our righteous deeds are like filthy rags. Now the prophets could be somewhat hyperbolic, fixed as they were on sin, but even if our righteous deeds were something better than filthy rags, it can’t be denied that next to God we are less than specs. What does God need with the prayers we who are less than specs?
Misery loves company. Hannah’s prayers just didn’t cut the mustard either.
O God,
she prayed desperately and beseechingly,
Give me a male child!
Hannah, as we heard, was barren. And so she prayed for a child. But she prayed for a
male child.
This is because male children were prize possessions. They were of great value to their mothers. For one thing, they brought prestige. And the more male children you had, the more prestige they brought. For another, they provided future protection. Husbands provided present protection, but husbands often did not live long in biblical times. Future protection lay with sons. So she wanted a male child for prestige and protection. She didn’t pray for a female child. She didn’t want a female child. They were deemed the result of the mother’s failure, and so the source of embarrassment and disappointment. So it was a bad prayer. It was a “give me what I want for selfish reasons” kind of prayer.
But what of her promise to make her male child a Nazirite? That seems noble. Nazirites were those whose lives were consecrated and devoted to God’s service. But no. It was not to her credit. She was basically bartering with God.
You give me what I want God, and I will give you what you want. You go first.
But, you may be thinking, I am too hard on poor Hannah. She was the product of her time, after all. I have thought a great deal about the products of their time. I am fixed on them, as a matter of fact. This is derived from my obsession with the novel
Gone with the Wind. I listen to the Audible again and again after the fashion of painting the Golden Gate Bridge. No sooner do I end, then I begin again. All the characters of that novel were products of their time. Scarlet O’Hara was the product of her time. Melanie Wilkes was the product of her time. They upheld slavery. The North raised their consciousness that slavery was a great evil -- an evil great enough to wage a Civil War over it. You’d think they might at least give the matter some thought. But they hated the North for undermining their right to enslave. They lionized and idealized the Confederate cause. So is it ever an excuse to be the product of your time? In every age there have been people who knew better than to be the products of their time. Harriet Tubman was the product of her time too. So Hannah can’t be excused as the product of her time. It was a bad prayer.
So, I pray insufficient prayers. Hannah prayed insufficient prayers. Probably you do too. How could we not? But here’s the thing. In truth it does not matter. Because every time we pray to God we affirm his sovereignty. Prayer is the affirmation of the sovereignty of God. That’s what God wants from us. This, the Bible declares this from first to last. God wants us to affirm his sovereignty.
Surely Christ would understand all of this, as he understands all things. Think of Christ at the Garden of Gethsemane. His death squarely before him, and it was to be a slow and agonizing death. He was devastated. He was terrified. And he was alone. His disciples were fast asleep after he begged for their company to provide what cold comfort it could.
Let this cup pass from me!
He prayed. He had prepared to die. He knew that outcome awaited him. But now it was no longer an abstraction. It was at hand. His spirit was willing, but his flesh was weak.
Let this cup pass from me!
He prayed. But then,
Thy will be done.
An insufficient prayer then the most sufficient prayer ever prayed for it was the greatest affirmation of God’s sovereignty ever made.
Perhaps here then is the resolution to my feeling that my prayers just don’t cut the mustard. Perhaps here is the answer. If we end all our stuttering and rambling attempts at prayer, as did Christ, with the words
Thy will be done.
Our prayers will become sufficient and will lead us into ever deepening faith and obedience. Amen.
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