By Rebecca Clancy
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May 18, 2020
One of my favorite poems was written by the Christian poet John Donne. I am sure you are familiar with it. It begins, “No man is an island.” The reason I love that poem is because it corrects the sense we tend to have, the fear we tend to have, that we are indeed islands. We are different from one another. We are separate from one another. We are alone. Because we do have that sense. This is why, I suppose, we project images of pleasantry and normalcy and sameness. We want to fit in. We want to be, in Donne’s words, “a piece of the continent; a part of the main.” No one wants to be an island. I had an experience last week that was really revealing. A student of mine asked me to come to her vocal recital. “You sing?” I asked, trying to conceal my surprise, because she is really quiet and self spoken. “Actually, singing is my passion,” she said. So I went to her recital -- sat with a colleague from the music department. Her performance was nearly indescribable. Her vulnerability was in full display. It was so obvious she was risking herself; and taking that risk because of who she wanted to be, but was held back by her shyness from being. Her performance was magnificent, made all the better because her full humanity was on display. It was met by thunderous applause. Afterward, my colleague and I rushed her. “You were fantastic! You are an inspiration to everyone to hazard yourself to the world!” I exclaimed. “Never mind that,” my colleague in the music department said. “Your performance was, musically speaking, flawless.” She teared up. Then tears were rolling down her face. I sensed it was more than gratitude for the compliments. “All my life I have felt so trapped by my shyness,” she confessed.. “I felt like I never belonged, like an outsider looking in on life. It’s hard to explain.” “I understand perfectly,” I said. And I did because of Donne’s poem. She felt different, separate, and alone. She felt she was an island. When she performed, she felt like she had finally joined the human race. I noticed my colleague in the music department wasn’t saying anything. “I understand perfectly too,” he in his turn confessed. “My late mother was an alcoholic. I spent my entire childhood hiding that fact. I had no friends outside school. If someone invited me over I had to say no, since I could never invite them back. Talk about feeling like an outsider looking in. I looked in at everyone who seemed to be living their lives free of shame and secrecy.” He felt different, separate, and alone. He felt like he was an island. “I suppose music was my way out too. My fellow musicians became my family.” As I said, it was a revealing experience. What it revealed is that it’s true. It’s a fact. We probably all, for one reason or another, tend to have the sense, the fear, that we are islands. It could be the result of shyness, or as the result of an alcoholic parent. It could be the result of a disease or disability. It could be as the result of some hidden vice. It could be the result of a non-traditional family. It could be the result of being the black sheep in a traditional family. It could be the result of money problems. It could be the result of creed or race or orientation. We could all cry with Job, “My brethren are wholly estranged from me!” Jesus was walking from Judea to Galilee, a distance of about 100 miles. When’s the last time you walked a hundred miles? That’s quite a distance. And it was seriously hot in that region especially at noon. 100 miles and 100 degrees. Jesus was tired, so when he came upon a well he sat down to rest. The only wrinkle is that the well was in Samaria, enemy territory. There was no love loss between the Jews and the Samaritans. A Samaritan woman came to draw water. But this would have been odd. Unless you were a traveler, no one came to draw water at noon. No one came out at all at noon. The sun was too high in the sky. It was too hot. Noon was lunch time and nap time. Only after the sun was nearly set did people come to the well to draw water. But she couldn’t come at that time. She felt different, separate, and alone. She felt like an island. Worse, she felt like an outcast. But why? It was because she had had five husbands, and the man with whom she was presently living was not sixth. The passage does not tell us why. Why did the Samaritan woman have this string of men in her life? I suppose it could be that she was a brazen and licentious woman. It could be, but I doubt it. Women didn’t have the choice to be brazen and licentious in those days. It’s probably more likely she was some kind of a victim. In those days women’s fortunes turned on their husbands. Their lives were lived largely in the private sphere as opposed to the public sphere. They had no outlets in any public arena. If women had a bad husband, their lives were largely reduced to that. So for her first husband, she probably had a bad husband, hence a bad life. But by the same token a woman needed a husband to subsist. The first husband either died or left her. Then she needed to find a new husband. Who would want her? What value had she? The cast off of a bad husband. And so she probably went from bad to worse, with her second husband even worse than the first. And her value decreased with each successive husband. The man she was with presently wouldn’t even marry her. I am speculating, of course, but my guess is that she had that string of men in her life because it was the only way she could survive. Who would choose that for herself, after all? But here’s the thing. Jesus refrained from judging her. A Samaritan woman with a string of men in her life. He instead engaged in a conversation with her. And he was no fellow outcast. He was the word made flesh, the Son of God. But he engaged with her in a conversation -- talked to her like she mattered, like she had a mind. He made her feel less different, less separate, less alone, less like an island. Even his disciples were blown away by this. And she was so elated by her feeling that someone had addressed her like she was actually a member of the human race, she rushed back to her fellow Samaritans, those who had stigmatized her. She announced with thrill that she could only have just met the Messiah, and she introduced Jesus to them. And he stayed among them, they who were now unified by their common allegiance to him. Now we should get this. We all unified by our common allegiance to Jesus the Messiah. And it helps us to overcome our feeling, our fear, that we are different, separate, alone...that we are islands. But what we may not get is that there is a world of strangers out there who we may presume feel that they are different, separate, and alone, that they are islands. And so Jesus bids us to follow his example. We are to forswear all judgement. We are to engage all people in ways to make them feel that they are loved and honored and respected, that they belong to the human race. Because the bottom line is that we need each other. We need each other because God created us to need each other. At the end of my favorite poem, someone has died. A bell is tolling that death. “Do not ask for whom the bell tolls,” Donne wrote, “It tolls for thee.” We have that in common, at least. We are all going to die. And Jesus through his cross has used our common fate as a way to unify us eternally with his father. That is our destiny, so until that time, let us all prefigure it. Amen.