As a pastor, you tend to have more experience with funerals and memorial services than most people. For one thing, you officiate at a lot of them. But too, you attend a lot of them. This is because you visit a lot of people in the hospital, and the outcome of hospitalization is, from time to time, death. I guess the bottom line is that as a pastor you tend to have more experience with funerals and memorial services than most people because you tend to have more experience with death.
I attended a funeral last week of a man I had visited in the hospital. He was the father of an acquaintance of mine from high school. She called and said that her father had fallen away from the church, but since he was hospitalized with a poor prognosis, she thought he might like to have a “spiritual” conversation with someone.
Something kind of saddens me about the fact that spiritual conversations are assigned to clergy. I am not sure why this is the case. Why can’t we have spiritual conversations with each other? I think it’s because we bring God into our day to day lives less and less. God is present in our day to day lives, so we should act like he’s present. We should bring God into our day to day lives more and more. But we don’t. So spiritual conversations have become difficult and unfamiliar and awkward.
At any rate, I asked my friend about her father’s diagnosis. “Brain cancer,” she said. No wonder he had a poor prognosis. When I entered his room we got right down to it. Poor prognoses will do that. “From where I’m sitting, if I had one wish it would be to choose the way I die,” he said. I thought how scary it is that we have so little choice over the conditions of our existence. “I am not afraid of dying,” he continued. “Not if the death is kind and gentle, anyway. But I am afraid to die of brain cancer.” “You’re not afraid to die?” I asked surprised. Because most people are afraid to die. “No, I’m not” he said. “You can’t say this yet, but I have lived my life. I have lived my life.” We prayed together for a gentle death, and God answered that prayer. It turned out he didn’t have to die of brain cancer. He died in his sleep shortly after my visit of a heart attack. At his funeral I felt immense gratitude that I had visited him. I think it’s because I was comforted to know he had not been afraid to die. As he said, he’d lived his life.
That’s something Jesus of Nazareth would never get to experience. That he’d lived his life. He was thirty-three when God called him. God called Moses through a burning bush. God called Isaiah through flying seraphim. God called Mary through the Angel Gabriel. And God called Jesus through John the Baptist.
John the Baptist was a prophet, and the bottom line with prophets is that God imparts to them some truth of his. What God imparted to John was that God was about to do something cataclysmic. So John got to work with cataclysmic fervor. He urged the people to prepare; to repent and to be washed free of their sin in the baptismal waters of the Jordan River.
Jesus found himself attracted by John. And so he made the journey to the Jordan River to be baptized by him. But it was not to be. At least not as Jesus had anticipated. For Jesus had no need to repent and to be washed free of his sin in the baptismal waters of the Jordan River. He was without sin. As it happened, John was but God’s lure. Because when John baptized Jesus, God called him.
And when God called people, he commissioned them at the same time. In Moses’ case, it was to get his enslaved countrymen out of Egypt. In Isaiah’s case, it was to proclaim the coming of a divine king. In Mary’s case, it was to bear the Son of God. And in Jesus’ case, it was to die for the sin of humanity.
At thirty-three. At the height of his vigor. At the blush of his youth. At the peak of his potential. When his whole life lay before him. When he hadn’t begun to live his life.
No wonder the temptation was so devastating for him. Because the devil tempted him to believe what he so desperately wanted to believe -- that his death for the sin of humanity was not necessary. The devil tempted him that his death would accomplish nothing. The devil tempted him that he indeed could accomplish something by, say for instance, commanding stones to be turned to bread. He could feed the hungry. And he could live past thirty-three.
Of course, if Jesus had succumbed to the temptation we would not know him today. He would have done some good in his life, like so many others have done some good in theirs. But he would have been forgotten. And he would have changed nothing. Not really. But Jesus did not succumb to the temptation. He held fast to his commission to die for the sin of humanity. I wonder, of all the anguished thoughts that passed through his mind as he made his way to that death, if one was that his life was cut so miserably short?
But why in the world did he do it? Why did he do it? Because he had a chance to change everything. To redeem us. To save us. To reconcile us to God. And the reason he wanted to change everything is because of his great and perfect love. For them. For us. For all who will come after us. Maybe, just maybe, it passed through his mind as he made his way to that death that the bigger the sacrifice the better, the more we would realize the extent of his love. What a man.
It's Lent. We’re supposed to give something up. What can we possibly give up? Some food product? Some vice? What can we possibly give up compared to what he gave up? What can we do? Anything would seem an insulting token. But, in fact, we can do plenty. We can repent of the sin for which he died. We can admit what we’ve done. We can admit our guilt. We can admit the damage we’ve caused. And this is hard. It’s terribly hard. Because if we really have done with our self-justification and denial, if we really face reality, it could break our hearts. But broken hearts are ok, because they’re softened hearts.
And we can accompany him from the moment he entered to Jerusalem till the moment he cried from his cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? We can stay by his side, not leave his side for a second. So he can witness our heartfelt efforts at sympathy and gratitude.
And more than accompany him. We can actually bind up his wounds and wipe away his tears. Because he told us where we would always find him -- among the poor, the persecuted, the brokenhearted, the hopeless, and the grieving.
It’s amazing, really, how powerful we really are, this Lenten season and always. Out of his darkness, we can make him to see light. Amen.