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Complaining

Rebecca Clancy

Jonah 3:10-11 Philippians 1:21-30 Matthew 20:1-16

Last week a friend of mine asked me to watch her five year old twins while she underwent a medical procedure. In truth, I was delighted. Now that my children are getting older, I miss being around young children. I miss them, and I miss their world. And these twins are cuties. Even their names are cute – Harry and Mary. While I was waiting for them to arrive, I prepared my children's favorite lunch when they were about five - macaroni and cheese with apple smiles on the side. I had dug out their Little Tykes picnic table and Dora the Explorer place mats, and I beamed with enthusiasm at how perfect everything was as I served up their lunch.

“Why did Harry get more mac ‘n cheese than me?” Mary asked.

“Harry didn’t get more than you,” I insisted. “I gave you both the exact same amount.”

“I can tell Harry has more,” Mary maintained.
 
To put an end to the matter, I gave Mary another spoonful.

“Now Mary has more mac ‘n cheese than me,” Harry objected.

“She does not!” I again insisted.

“I’m counting my apple smiles,” Harry said. “I think Mary has more.”

“Now just a minute…” I said, in a tone that conveyed that I had had about enough. But before I could continue, I found them finally in agreement

“Why are you so strict?” they both lamented.

“Enough complaining!” I declared.

At least Mary and Harry have an excuse. They’re five years old.

What excuse can be made for adults when they complain along similar lines? No matter what happens or doesn’t happen, they are never satisfied.
 
No matter what happens or doesn’t happen, they always manage to construe it in a negative light. Whatever it is, why ever it is, wherever it is, whoever it is, they always find a word of criticism.

You may be familiar with complainers such as these, and if you are, you know your reaction to them. When you see them heading in your direction, you assume an attitude of resignation. You know what’s going to come out of them, and there’s no way to prevent it. There’s no way to treat it either. You don’t want to enable or patronize them, because then they go on and on. You don’t want to take them on, because nothing will come of the
confrontation. You don’t want to avoid them, because then you feel guilty. And so, you wait for your first opening, and you beat a hasty retreat.

And why is it that these complainers complain as they do? My surmise is that it’s an attitude they’ve come to assume over the years, an attitude of least resistance because they have taken a course of least resistance. For some reason or another they haven’t developed sufficient self-identity to act in life -- because self-identity is indeed the necessary prior for action -- so life acts upon them. And not in the way they think it should. Life doesn’t bestow upon them much regard or favor. It doesn’t grant them much notice or acknowledgment. It doesn’t afford them much buffer or protection. And so they blame life. It’s ironic, as self-absorbed as complainers are, they never blame themselves. They blame life. Life is unfair to them. This is why I think that complainers complain as they do. It is because they’ve assumed the attitude that life is unfair to them. And their attitude is all encompassing. It allows for no exceptions. Not even for God. Why should God be an exception, after all? He started the whole train wreck in motion.

Jonah is a case in point. The Lord called Jonah to be his prophet, to proclaim to the Assyrians that the Lord would punish them for their wickedness. But Jonah felt put upon by the Lord’s call. And so he boarded the next ship heading the opposite direction of Assyria. But the Lord refused to let him get away with it. He hurled a mighty storm at the ship and when the mariners cast a lot to see who was responsible for its cause, it fell on Jonah. And so they had no choice but to throw him overboard, lest they all perish. The Lord then appointed a large fish to swallow him and spit him back up on dry ground, and he gave him one last chance to proclaim to the Assyrians that he would punish them for their wickedness. Realizing that he had no choice, Jonah heeded his call. He cried out to the Assyrians, “Forty days more, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” And an amazing thing happened. The Assyrians repented of their wickedness. Even the king of Assyria himself covered himself in sackcloth and sat himself down in an ash heap. And so the Lord changed his mind about punishing them.

For Jonah, this was cause for complaint. If the Lord called him to declare to the Assyrians they would be punished, they should be punished. Why should they escape punishment just because they were sorry all of a sudden? Jonah made all that effort against his will, and it turned out to be for nothing. Life was unfair to him. And so he complained, “I knew that you were a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing.”

Now let’s take a few steps back here. The Lord’s universal mercy was for Jonah cause for complaint? This just shows how far complainers will go, how very skewed their perspectives become. Jonah could just as well have been thrilled by the whole affair. The Lord called him as a prophet -- fantastic, here was a real destiny to fulfill, a real purpose to enact. The Assyrians repented -- fantastic, his fellow human beings saw the light and escaped destruction. The Lord is a Lord of universal mercy -- fantastic, then maybe the Lord will show mercy upon him. And after all, the whole purpose of the Lord’s call to Jonah to proclaim to the Assyrians that the Lord would punish them for their wickedness was to bring them to repentance so that they would escape punishment. But to Jonah it was cause for complaint.

Or take Jesus’ parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard. God, Jesus taught, is like a landowner who sought to hire laborers for his vineyard. He went to the marketplace first thing in the morning and took all that were waiting there to be hired. At noon he returned and again took all that were waiting there to be hired. And at five he returned and once again took all that were waiting there to be hired. At the end of the day he paid them all a like amount.

Like Jonah, for the laborers who had worked the longest this was cause for complaint. The last hired had last worked only an hour. Why should latecomers receive the same payment? They should receive a fraction of what they did. Life was unfair to them. And so they complained, “You have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the
scorching heat.”
 
Again let’s take a few steps back here. God’s equal generosity to latecomers was for the laborers cause for complaint? It again shows just how far these complainers will go, how skewed their perspectives become. They could just have well been thrilled by the whole affair. They had labored long in the vineyard -- fantastic, how much more productive would be their harvest. There were ever increasing hires -- fantastic, the overall yield then would be even greater. God is equally generous to latecomers -- fantastic, then it’s never too late for others to experience the generosity that they had been experiencing all along. But to the laborers it was cause for complaint.

Yes, everything and everyone, including God, falls victim to the attitude of complainers that life is unfair to them, and this is not good for anyone – not for the victims of complainers, certainly, but not for complainers either. It’s not good for anyone to assume the attitude that life is unfair to them and then to wallow in jealousy, and dissatisfaction, and resentment. We were meant for better things.

And God himself is expressly clear on the matter. We’ve no cause for complaint. None of us. No cause whatsoever. But why; why specifically? I
 began by saying that complainers haven’t sufficient self-identity to act in life, and so life acts upon them. But indeed God had given us sufficient self- identity to act in life. We are Christians. We know of a fact, therefore, that we are created by the love of God, redeemed by the love of his Son, and sustained by the love of his Spirit. We know of a fact, therefore, that every human being in this world is a child of God. We know of a fact, therefore, that God is a God of justice, of equality, of freedom, of mercy, of forgiveness. We know of a fact, therefore, that God is a God of action. And lastly, we know of a fact all the work that needs to be done in this world. We are Christians. We have sufficient self-identity to act in life. And when we do, when we as Christians act in life, we will discover by God’s own design and dispensation that we have no cause for complaint, that life is not unfair to us. We will discover that life is liberating. It is empowering. It is purposeful. It is rewarding. It is because we will have discovered it is filled with God’s grace.

Consider the apostle Paul. In this morning’s epistle lesson Paul finds himself imprisoned. And Roman prisons make our prisons look like the Four Seasons. And listen to what he has to say. “I will continue to rejoice…If I am to live that means fruitful labor for me, though I do not know which to prefer. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better; but to remain in the flesh is more
necessary for you. …” It’s all good, Paul says -- whether I remain in prison or whether I am executed – it’s all good. And we can begin to count it all joy too. We need only remember the one for whom we are named, and act on his behalf. Amen.
 

By Rebecca Clancy August 3, 2022
Pharaoh, King of Egypt, enslaved the People of Israel. It was not out, as you might assume, out of cruelty. It was, rather, out of judiciousness. The People of Israel were not Egyptians. They were foreigners. They were the rough equivalent of what we today would call the undocumented. So now as then they were deemed to be threats. Add to this that the People of Israel grew increasingly numerous, as numerous even as the Egyptians themselves. This intensified the threat. In those numbers they could simply take over. Or Egypt’s enemies could induce them to fight for them, as a kind of built in fifth column. Pharaoh, King of Egypt, had to act. And so he enslaved the People of Israel. It was the judicious thing to do. But his judiciousness was not rewarded. In slavery, unpredictably, their numbers only increased. Pharaoh’s patience with the People of Israel grew thin. Judiciousness then crossed over to cruelty. He ordered the Hebrew midwives to murder the infant boys as they delivered them. That would thin their ranks. But the Hebrew midwives refused to do so, and with their refusal, civil disobedience was born. They chose to heed God not man. But Pharaoh King of Egypt was not so easily undone. He ordered his army to search out the infant boys and throw them into the Nile. Thereafter, cruelty no doubt took on a life of its own. Pharaoh King of Egypt rightly ranks with the likes of Caligula, Nero, Hitler, Stalin, and Mao. One wonders why it is that so many who rise to power become murderous and maniacal tyrants. The human cost - the suffering and misery and despair and tragedy -- are unimaginable and incalculable. Against this backdrop, a woman from the house of Levi gave birth to a healthy and beautiful infant boy. It would normally be the occasion for celebration and joy, but it was for her the occasion for anguish. When a child is born, a mother’s first instinct is protectiveness. But how could she possibly protect him? She thought desperately at first that she could hide him, and she did so for several months, but that could not go on forever. He could any day be discovered. The lesser of two evils was to abandon him to his fate. So she plastered a reed basket with bitumen and pitch, and she cast her hope upon the water. Low and behold, the daughter of Pharaoh happened upon the basket. She peered into it, beheld the crying infant, and she had compassion. The daughter of Pharaoh has never received the appreciation and respect she deserves. She is, inexplicably, overlooked. What she did was exemplary. Normally when people enslave others, they find justification for it. The enslaved are not deemed the equal of their enslavers. They are deemed subhuman. Slavery, therefore, is a necessity. More than this, it is morally right. That’s what the South advanced in this country, after all. But the daughter of Pharaoh did not fall prey to justification. She had compassion. And she acted upon that compassion. Here is an important reminder. It is not enough to have compassion. To have compassion, or any other altruistic emotion for that matter, does not make you a good person. You must act upon it. If you have compassion and you do not act upon it, that makes you decidedly less than a good person. As Martin Luther King, Jr. famously declared, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” And here is something truly astounding. Her act was to adopt him. That was, to say at the least, a courageous thing to do. It certainly would not have put her in good stead with her father. I can just imagine it. “Father, I have a surprise for you. You have a new grandson.” Such an announcement could only have dumbfounded him, but his confusion would have given way to horror as she went on, “I have adopted an infant boy from among your slaves.” If nothing else, we can now set the record straight. We can give Pharaoh’s daughter the appreciation and respect that she deserves. But we can do more than that. As I said, she is exemplary, and so we can follow her example. We can show compassion to those who have cast their hope upon the water. Yes, a mother forced by dire circumstance to give her child up for adoption, hoping that her child will be loved and cherished. But too, one with an atypical identity, hoping to be accepted for who he or she really is. One of a different race, creed, or income level seeking to relocate, hoping not that she will be welcomed, for that would be too high a hope; but hoping she will be at least be tolerated. One who has transgressed, hoping he will be forgiven. One who has something difficult to impart, hoping she will be understood. We can show compassion for those who have cast their hope upon the water. For someone greater, much greater than Pharaoh’s daughter did the same. “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on us!” “My daughter has just died. Come and lay your hand on her, that she may live.” “Even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.” “Jesus, come before my son dies.” “Lord, if you choose, you can make me clean.” “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David, for my daughter is tormented by a demon.” “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and suffers terribly.” “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” They cast their hope on him. And he showed compassion for them all. And when we cast our hope on him, he will show compassion for us -- unlimited even by a cross. Amen.
By Rebecca Clancy August 3, 2022
I attended a funeral recently. It was for my high school math teacher. He was one great guy. Everyone loved him. He taught math at my high school for forty years, and he also coached wrestling. By the time he retired, he had become something of a legend in his own time. The funeral was upbeat, not like so many funerals that are so very sad. He lived a full and long life, and we gathered to celebrate that. But for one man – a classmate of mine who wrestled for him. He was absolutely devastated. I approached him in the parking lot after the funeral and asked if he was okay. He broke down. “That man was everything to me,” he said. “I was O.K. so long as he was in the world.” Then he shared his story. His mother died when he was very young. His father was a physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. By the time he was in high school, he was far down a bad road. He hadn’t the support to do well at school, so he didn’t. He was very angry, so he was a behavior problem. The only friends he could make were kids like himself, so he hung out with a tough crowd. And he had begun to dabble in drugs. He was pretty much a lost cause at the age of sixteen. Enter my math teacher. He approached him one day out of the blue and told him he could tell by his gait that he was born to wrestle. This could only have been a ruse to intervene. Even I, who knows nothing about wrestling, am suspicious that you can identify one born to wrestle by his gait. At any rate, the ruse worked. He intervened. And he made him into a great wrestler. On top of that, he made him into a great young man. His advice, understanding, and support were unwavering. He helped him to deal with his past in such a way that it didn’t destroy him. He filled his present with new found responsibility, purpose, structure, and discipline. And he paved his way to a future. After graduation he went to college on a wrestling scholarship and eventually became a doctor. “I feel so lost,” he concluded his story. “What am I going to do now?” While he was sharing his story, I could not help but think how hard life can be. We here are generally prosperous and privileged, so we can afford to put up a front. But behind that front life can be hard. Because it’s out there -- loss, abuse, addiction, and a host of other afflictions. It’s enough to make you lose your way. And as I said, we here are generally prosperous and privileged. What if the loss, abuse, and addiction are compounded by poverty or racism? Then it’s all but a foregone conclusion. Your way is lost. Yes, life can be hard. Life takes casualties. Lots of them. It can make us feel helpless and overwhelmed. We want to make things better, but what could we possibly do? The answer is no farther away than my late math teacher. What could we possibly do to make things better? We could reach out, like he did. And what is in view here is not merely a good example, although we must never underestimate the power of a good example and must always strive to be one. But there’s more in view than that. It has to do with the Bible. The Bible may seem like a forbidding book. For one thing it’s thousands of pages long. It makes War and Peace look like a short story. For another thing, it’s unimaginably ancient. The Bible’s story begins 2,000 years before the Common Era. I just read that a sizable portion of millennials don’t know what the Holocaust was. To them that’s ancient history - a mere 75 years back. The Bible is more than 4,000 years back. That’s unimaginably ancient. For yet another thing, it traffics in extremely complicated and sophisticated theology, plumbing in its unfolding the depths of such mysteries as our nature, the predicament that our nature has landed us in, and the means of our redemption. And it does so all the while purging itself of false starts or conclusions. So it may seem forbidding. But at the same time, ironically, the Bible lends itself to succinct summaries. Here’s one: God lives. Here’s another: Good triumphs over evil. And another: Love triumphs over fear. And another: Practice universal justice. And another: Love one another. And here’s one that’s right on point: Reach out. The Bible can be summarized in just two words. Reach out. Think about it. That’s what God did. God reached out. God reached out to Abraham and told him that from him would one day issue a nation, and not just any nation, but a nation that would somehow bless all the nations by bestowing upon them redemption. God reached out to Moses and bequeathed him an ethical law so that God’s people could bear his righteousness. God reached out to David and told him that from his descendants would emerge one who would embody that redemption. And that one in the fullness of time emerged. God reach out to his son. He told him that if he would make a great sacrifice, the greatest sacrifice, it would be the means for all people to reach out to one another. In a real way. A way that advanced God’s own being and cause. And his son made that sacrifice. And in his brief ministry that preceded that sacrifice, he reached out to everyone. And I mean everyone. Lepers. Prostitutes. Beggars. Even a bitter little man perched up in a sycamore tree. So reaching out is not just a good example. It is nothing less the mechanism that God that employs to bestow redemption. Yes, life can be hard. Paul knew this. “We would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” But Paul goes on. “So we must make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.” And this means reaching out. “I feel so lost now. What am I going to do?” asked my grieving classmate. I told him that his coach had already showed him what to do. I told him to reach out. Amen.
By Rebecca Clancy August 2, 2022
Jesus was always one to bring the party. All he had to do was show up, and lots of others showed up too -- eager for engagement, eager for excitement, eager for something new. It was little wonder. Here at last was someone who had something to say. Something different. Something provocative. Something truthful. Jesus had a way of uttering truths that had never been uttered before, but at the same time, were strangely recognizable. And it was happening once again. Once again, Jesus had brought the party. He showed up at the house of Mary and Martha, and suddenly the place was filled with men who immediately took their place at his feet. This gesture was an indicator that they were ready and willing disciples. They wanted him to teach them. And so he began to teach. That was Martha’s cue. She sprang into action. After Jesus’ teaching, it would be fellowship hour, and as we all know, fellowship hour is predicated upon food. And in ancient times, you couldn’t rely on your reserves from Costco. Feeding a room full of men was labor intensive. Animals had to be slaughtered and dressed. Bread had to be baked. Water had to hauled. Martha went directly to work, expecting Mary to fall in place behind her. But what did Mary do? She went and sat at Jesus’ feet with the men -- shirking her role, defying expectations, and leaving Martha to shoulder the burden alone. I can imagine Martha’s frustration. I can imagine her passive aggressive attempts to get Mary back in the kitchen. Staring daggers at her from the threshold. Uttering loud sighs as indicators of her strain. Dropping pottery on the floor to startle Mary to awareness. But Mary took no notice. None whatsoever. Martha should have counted to ten. How much strife could be averted if we could all just remember to count to ten, or perhaps twenty. Martha for her part shot like a rocket from outrage to outburst. “I’m doing all the work in here Jesus, while Mary has yet to raise a finger. It’s hardly fair. And have you even noticed? Do you even care?” And there was doubtless more to it than the fact that Martha had to provide all the hospitality on her own. There too was the fact of what Mary was doing. She not day dreaming or singing idly out the window. She was sitting at Jesus’ feet. She was in there with the men. Martha was doubtless chagrined and embarrassed that Mary did not know her place. It certainly did not reflect well on the family. But Jesus did not vindicate Martha. Jesus chastised her, “Martha, Martha,” (and when someone says your name twice, wait for some kind of a correction to follow) “Why are you so distracted and stressed and scattered? Let it go. Mary’s right where she should be.” We’re left to wonder how Martha felt at that point. I bet she wasn’t happy. She simply didn’t get it or she would not have reacted that way in the first place. Now normally this text is interpreted as a caution against busyness. Martha with all her busyness is a prototype that we should avoid. Not that productivity is a bad thing. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop after all. But there’s a certain kind of busyness that’s not good. It’s when we become enmeshed with worldly or personal concerns and address them with obsessive application – application that mixes with pride, competition, insecurity. It becomes a kind of self-perpetuating force. And it causes us to lose all perspective. It causes us to become disoriented. We forget that we’re supposed to be at Jesus’ feet – his disciples, listening to him. And this is a fair enough interpretation, but I think there’s something else here. An elephant in the living room. Mary was right where she should be. She was at Jesus’ feet, his disciple, listening to him. But Mary was, obviously, a woman. Women did not seat themselves at the feet of rabbis. Women were not disciples. All they needed to know was taught to them by their mothers. Women did not sit side by side with men learning. It was unheard of. It was forbidden. And yet Jesus told Martha that Mary was right where she should be. Her place was with the men. Really Jesus? A woman’s place is with the men? Really Jesus? In first century Judaism? Jesus was a revolutionary and a radical, and don’t ever forget it. All down through history and even to this day there has an unspoken and inviolable code. It could be expressed as a variant of a line from the wedding ceremony. What society has divided, let no one unite. And Jesus was saying the polar opposite. A women’s place is with the men. Think about what this means by extension. Women, your place is with the men. Men, your place is with the women. Whites, your place is with blacks. Blacks your place is with whites. The wealthy, your place is with the poor, and the poor, your place is with the wealthy. The powerful, your place is with the powerless. The powerless, your place is with the powerful. The old, your place is with the young. The young, your place is with the old. Jesus was smashing down all dividing walls. His disciples are to be completely and utterly integrated. This is simply too radical, simply too revolutionary. But that’s who Jesus was. This is why he brought the party. It’s because he spoke God’s truth. Disciples are to be completely and utterly integrated, and this in service to humankind that is to be completely and utterly integrated. That all should be one. But this is so radical and revolutionary that it is very seldom approximated. It’s too hard. But is it really? Is it really that hard to forge the way? Is it really that hard to reach out? Is it really that hard to cross the aisle? To be vulnerable? To be risky? To be open? To be accepting? To be understanding? One thing’s for sure. It’s a lot easier than hanging on a cross in faith it could be so. Amen.
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