A close friend of mine has an unusual hobby. She photographs windows. Since there is no shortage of windows out there, her collection of photographs has grown to be enormous. She has, over the years, developed a real eye for them. She goes everywhere, camera in hand, vigilant for new material.
She gave me a gift a few years back. She took a trip to Disney World, and knowing that the kids and I are Disney fanatics, she created a photo album for us entitled, The Windows of Disney. Needless to say, it is one of my prize possessions.
At any rate, I visited her apartment recently. One whole wall was covered with photographs of windows from all over the world. I must say her hobby is very compelling to me. I had been riveted at the wall for nearly half an hour, when she made an unexpected disclosure. “I finally figured out why I photograph windows,” she said. “Why?” I asked. “Because for as long as I remember I feel like I have been looking at life through windows.” “What do you mean by that?” I asked, intrigued. “I guess I have always felt like I was on the margins looking in at the center.” “What!?” I asked again, my intrigue now turning to concern.” “You know, isolated, apart, an outsider…” “But why!?” I persisted, my concern now turning to chagrin. I began to feel welling up in me that well-meaning but misguided urge to fix everything. “I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks,” my friend continued. “My parents were divorced. I am divorced. I didn’t start college till I was 30. I never found a profession….You name it.”
I was shocked -- shocked that I had known her for forty years and never knew she felt that way, and shocked that she felt that way in the first place. But as it sank it, it struck me that all sorts of people may feel that way – people, like my friend, who is finding her way in life along a bumpy road; people who emigrated or migrated to a newly adopted homeland; people of racial minorities, people of alternative sexual orientations or identities; people who represent various servant classes, people who have been barred admission to an “in-crowd”; people chasing after beauty or youth; people who lacked the privilege to receive an education; people who are the black sheep of their families; people who are unemployed; people who in atypical families; people who are impoverished, people who life has left lonely…All sorts of people. It’s just not the kind of thing you normally admit: that you lack and grieve a sense of belonging.
The yearning to belong runs deep and strong, and therefore it has become embedded in our society. Our society is shot through with mores, institutions, inducements, and attitudes that respond to the yearning to belong. Our society has made something of a game out of the yearning to belong. And with all games, there are winners and losers. The winners, through luck, privilege, or ambition, position themselves so that they belong. The losers feel like they’re looking through windows at life.
At any rate, it’s not just our society that is this way. It’s probably all societies, but it’s certainly biblical society. Something like this must have been going on with Jacob. Fate had cast him to feel like he would be looking through windows at life. It was the fault of his birth order. In biblical society to be the first born son was everything. It meant that you inherited the wealth, the property, the family name, the family line, the family position…. But Jacob was not the first born son. He missed out literally by seconds, for he was a second born twin. The first born son was his brother Esau. In fact, they came out in one piece, because as they were delivered, Jacob was grasping onto Esau’s heal. It was that close. But Esau was the first born son, and as such, he would inherit all the stature due him. It was Jacob’s lot to sink into insignificance and obscurity.
And to compound the insult, Jacob, to his mind at least, was the superior brother. He deemed Esau to be, to put it bluntly, a lunkhead -- a ruddy, hairy brute of a man who wiled away his days in the field hunting game. Jacob deemed himself to be the more cerebral, the more subtle, the more complex, the cannier of the two. And so Jacob determined that he would trick fate. He would steal Esau’s position as first born son. If Esau was stupid to allow it to be stolen, it all the more underscored that it was Jacob’s right to steal it. So Jacob awaited an opportunity to find Esau at such a disadvantage that he could manipulate him into ceding his birth right; then tricked his father Isaac out of the blessing that conferred it. Jacob then assumed his place as the first born son. Admittedly, it was after the fashion of a gatecrasher to a private club, but nonetheless he did. And Jacob then belonged! He belonged to the winners, the somebodies, the prestigious. He belonged. And he relished his belonging, at least for a time.
So I think it’s safe to conclude that biblical society was familiar with the belonging game. And so the Bible is in a position to cast judgment upon that game, and cast judgment it does. It judges it as a game falsely rigged. For the Bible is aware that the belonging game has as its cardinal rule a falsehood. It has as its cardinal rule the insistence that to belong you have to meet some standard, or make some grade, or pass some test. You have to follow one straight course, and get it right the first time; you have to accede to the dominant culture in the way you look, live, or love; you have to have a closet free of skeletons; you have to have a normal family (whatever that means); and the boundary lines have to have fallen nicely for you – so that you are wealthy, educated, and generally prosperous.
But, the Bible takes a different view on belonging than does society, a view that is imbued by godliness and is thus revolutionary in its implications. The Bible’s view is that we all belong. We all belong to God, and we all belong to one another. For the Bible knows that God does not give as the world gives. In spite of whatever game society runs, the Bible says we all belong.
Look how it turned out with Jacob. Jacob became the first born son, yes, but his felonious modus operandi forced him flee his brother’s wrath. Jacob’s thrust to belong, paradoxically, landed him in exile. There he came to discover that the belonging game is a fool’s game. He longed instead to belong to God and his brother. And so he wrestled with God, until God recognized his earnestness, and he then returned home in search of Esau. Beholding him, the brothers embraced and wept, and Jacob discovered true belonging.
Friends, we all yearn for this true belonging, to belong to God and one another. This is how God created us, to yearn after his truth for us. Whether we play our societies belonging game well or poorly, whether we win or lose, we all yearn for this true belonging -we are all in the same boat.
We are there with the disciples who looked out at the raging sea and thought they were staring death in the face. “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing!” they cried. “Peace! Be still!” Jesus declared to the turbulent waters, and the sea was dead calm. Jesus turned to his disciples and chided them, “Do you still lack faith in me?” he asked them. It was so hard for the disciples to maintain their faith, even in the very presence of the Son of God. So how much harder is it for us? But if we do, we will know in our in our hearts and souls his truth – that through him we are all one. Amen.