As my children can and will attest, I am really bad at parking. I am not sure why. For some reason, for all of my life, I have never been able to park a car. I certainly can’t parallel park. That requires the most skill. Even if I were driving a Volkswagen Beetle, I would never attempt it. That leaves perpendicular and angle parking at which I am equally bad.
My children hate it when I try to park, which is about ten times a day. “Am I going to hit anything? Am I in the space?” I ask them, my voice choked with urgency and stress. My friends hate it when I try to park too. A neighbor and I recently arranged to share a bottle of wine at a local wine boutique. I told her I’d pick her up at 7:00. “No! No!” She insisted. “I’d be happy to drive. Or we could walk.” She offered. “Is it my parking?” I asked. “Yes.” She said. “Is it really that bad?” I asked. “Yes.” She said.
Last week I learned that at least I am not alone in the world. I was walking through a parking lot. I do a lot of walking through parking lots, since I always park far from the store where there are no other cars. Anyway, I was walking through a parking lot, when I discovered a car parked in such a way that it took up four parking spaces. A quarter of the car was in each of the four spaces. It was the worst parking job I had ever seen in my life. I waited around for a bit hoping to chalk up a friendship with the driver. No one showed up. “Oh well,” I said to myself as I made my way to the store, “At least I’m not that bad.” I found them to be consoling words. “At least I’m not that bad.”
When we consider the prophet Jonah from our Old Testament Lesson, we can all say, “At least we’re not that bad.” Because Jonah was the worst. You can’t be as bad as the worst. It’s grammatically impossible.
The Lord called Jonah to prophecy to the Assyrians. Now many of the prophets when the Lord called them to prophecy expressed reservations. Jeremiah springs to mind. “But I’m only a lad,” he protested. Moses springs to mind. “Who am I to go to Pharaoh?” he protested. Hosea springs to mind. “You want me to marry a prostitute?” He protested. But despite their reservations, they at least answered their calls and did the best they could.
Not Jonah. Jonah would have none of it. He had two solid reasons. For one thing, the job of a prophet is not an easy job. Speaking the word of God. In this world? And if you’re any good at your job, it spells persecution, though Jonah didn’t have much to worry about on that score.
For another thing, Jonah really hated the Assyrians. It’s pretty much what defined him - his hatred for the Assyrians. There are all sorts of people who are defined by their hatreds. Think of Neo Nazis. Think of the Klu Klux Klan. Think of the Skinheads. Such was Jonah’s hatred for the Assyrians. So he was not about to answer the Lord’s call and prophesy to the Assyrians, any more than a Neo Nazi would answer the Lord’s call and prophesy to the Jews.
Jonah decided to get out of Dodge. Assyria was East, so he headed west. He hopped on board a cargo ship and was soon sleeping like a baby in the hold. His conscience, it would appear, was at complete rest. But God was not about to let him get away with him. God hurled a mighty storm his way. God calms storms, but he also sends them -- often to wake you up to something you must do, as in Jonah’s case. When his fellow mariners learned that the storm was on Jonah’s account, they threw him overboard.
He should have drowned. Imagine being tossed into the waters of Hurricane Florence. Your chance of survival would be zero. But God, who is a God of unlimited resources, appointed a fish to swallow him and spit him out on dry ground. And God called him a second time to prophecy to the Assyrians. Considering who he was dealing with, God went easy on him. He had but one line to deliver, “Forty days more and Nineveh will be overthrown.” Realizing he had no choice, Jonah held his nose and delivered his line. Lo and behold, the Assyrians repented. And I mean repented. To a man, woman, and child, they covered themselves in sackcloth. They fasted. They wailed. So God decided that Nineveh would not be overthrown.
Then Jonah really showed his colors. His evasion of his call to prophecy was only the tip of the iceberg. He threw a temper tantrum. There’s nothing more unseemly than a grown man throwing a temper tantrum. I witnessed that recently as I was walking through a parking lot. It wasn’t pretty. “How dare you show grace and mercy to the Assyrians!” Jonah shook his fist at God. “How dare you be a God abounding in mercy and steadfast love!” After his temper tantrum he stormed off to sulk. He sat outside Nineveh cursing his fate and hoping that God would change his mind. When it became clear that he wouldn’t, Jonah, fuming, wished he were dead. To describe Jonah as infantile would be an insult to infants.
So, as I said, at least we’re not that bad. We’re not half that bad. What a buffoon that Jonah was. But here’s the point. God worked through him. The Assyrians repented. God made use even of him. And Jonah is not alone. God made use of Joseph’s murderous brothers. God made use of that schemer Jacob. God made use of a talking donkey, for crying out loud. That means God can make use of us. Sinner or saint, God can make use of us. He can make use of us all. It’s what he’s all about, after all -- working through sin to effect redemption.
No one believed this more than one Jesus of Nazareth. He could have picked anyone for his disciples. There were wise men in his day. There were brave men in his day. There were faithful men in his day. Look who he picked instead. Peter and Andrew, a couple of fishermen who were, to put it mildly, rough around the edges. We don’t know much about Andrew. The gospels give us little to go on as far as he is concerned. But Peter. Really? That guy didn’t know when to put a sock in it. He humiliated himself again and again, but it proved no deterrent. Then there was another couple of fishermen -- James and John, the Sons of Thunder. They weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. After Jesus had spelled it out to them innumerable
times -- “I am here to die” -- right before death they put in a bid for preferential treatment. And then there’s Judas. He couldn’t quite add it up either. He was basically a terrorist who was frustrated that Jesus wouldn’t join the cause. Most of his other disciples, we know only by name. But there’s one thing we know about them all. They deserted him. The best man they had ever known. They deserted him in his hour of need. And God made use of them. Through them the church was founded. Through them Christendom arose. Through them billions of people today have found conviction and meaning and hope.
The Father Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and Earth can work through us - for us and for our world. May we rally to his cause. Amen.